jillian

he smiles at every face, even mine..

but why doesn't he see me in this empty room
Does he think about me when i do

anxiously looking
finding the right time to see
if that sign you're looking for, will lead to me

don't you see what you're doing to me?
can't you see that i've been dealt by this, dealt by you?

i try to walk that same hill next to you...
i try to be that missing part of you..

i guess i'll always do....

friday afternoon pt. 2

friday afternoons.

the thought of something special will happen on a Friday afternoon never fails me. Where's the logic in it? I don't know.

dapat kahapon ko ipopost ang entry na to.. pero masyado akong napagod.. kaya pag-uwi ko dito sa bahay, sa kama agad ang bagsak ko..

anyway, better late than never. :)

last Friday afternoon, inaway ako nina Pat, Yvonne at Jordan. LOL (liars go to hell. see you all in hell lol) joke. hehe.. nagtampo lang talaga ako ng konti.. kasi naman eh.. kasi kasi... lol.. haha.. pero yung tampong yun ay tumagal lang for a minute. lol. kasi naman... lol..

at nauwi ang lahat sa pagkain namin sa Buns and Pizzas, ang bagong food store sa tapat ng school. LOL Nilabanan namin ang ambon para makatawid sa kabilang kalsada! haha at kami lang ni Pat ang nakapayong. Hinayaan naming mabasa sina Yvonne at Jordan. LOL. apir Pat!



the place. first time ko nga palang kumain sa Buns and Pizzas. Kasi nung una akong nagpunta dun, wala na kong pera.. kasi naman.. ang dami kong kumain sa school.. kaya pagdating ng hapon, wala nang matitira sa baon ko. LOL. buti na lang mabait si Pat.... basta..... haha.. salamat pat sa ice cream.. lol :)

back to the pizzas, lol..



Meat lovers ang binili naming apat. tig 75php ata kami.. hahaha... may purpose ako kung bakit malaki ang size ng picture na to.. LOL. alam mo na yun .. gutom ka na ba?



oxymoron.



Me, Yvonne, Jordan and Pat. :)

sa uulitin.

Sembreak na!

ang daming gagawin! lol.

friday afternoon

kita nyo ba yung rainbow? sana kita nyo.. hindi nga lang sya buo pero pinasaya kami ng rainbow na yan nung Biyernes.. Si Aaron ang nakakita nyan nung nagpunta kami sa oval. "ROYGBIV"..



linya sa oval.. "visible" sya kasi dito sa school ginanap ang division meet ng track and field events.. sa ibang panahon kasi, hindi mo makikita masyado ang mga linyang yan.. saka lang yan "makikita" pag may mga events (intramurals, divison meet) na gaganapin sa school na gagamitan ng oval.



tumungtong ako sa linya.. masama ba?

hay...

camyl (10/23/2005 8:55:22 PM): hay...
Aaron (10/23/2005 8:55:26 PM): hay..
Aaron (10/23/2005 8:55:29 PM): hay..
Aaron (10/23/2005 8:55:31 PM): hay.
Aaron (10/23/2005 8:55:40 PM): yan na siguro ung pinakamasarap itype na word.
Aaron (10/23/2005 8:55:44 PM): nakakagaan..

ang lamig na ng hangin.... malapit na.....

hay..

time's up.. time is on our side

how can i find something....

that two can take...


i'll be alright...
as long as you're you are all here with me...

i love you guys.... kayo lang ang rason kung bakit nagiging ayos ang lahat kahit na parang lahat ng bagay ay hindi umaayon sakin..

arik..
jude..
jordan..
jiaan..
raemart..
paolo..
daren..
james..
chamie..
rev..
matt..
mykel..
meg..
avis..
audrey..
mavic..
ana..
kaycee..
lynette..
darlene..
madaine..
jezza..
ruby..
k-ann..
jeanelle..
vernix..
cocoi..
krist..
amabelle..
trixie..
angelica..
charmaine..
melai..
nikki..
aira..
trisha..

spye..
tonnette..
maisa..

aaron..
yvonne..
anton..
pat..
migy..
lora..
ronel..
polin..
mina..
mama..
carol..
eyang..
ate aning..
mcoy..
rodski..

God.

<3

50php

strawberry twist 16Php
chocolate twist 16Php
7up 18Php



after ng exams, sinamahan ko si Yvonne sa Robinson. Hinintay namin si Pat galing sa Mediatrix hanggang 12pm. Kumain kami ni Yvonne sa Mr. Donut habang iniintay si Pat.

...snapshots







value ng 50Php?

answer: ________________.

sunday driving

Room: L318
Seat No.: 40
When: October 9 (last Sunday)
Time: 2:00PM-6:30PM

i don't know where to start..

Introduction

hmm.. last Sunday, i took my entrance test at DLSU-Manila. That would be the last exam I'll take for college application. I am just praying/hoping that i would pass.. salamat sa mga nagdasal para sakin.. gusto ko kasi don pumasok..

nakasabay ko si Aaron sa pagkuha ng exam. Pareho kami ng schedule iba nga lang ng room. such a "wonderful" experience.. uhhmmm..

Chapter 1

my dad drove me to Manila (as usual :)). we arrived there at around 1pm. We decided to have our lunch at Chowking (that is by the way only in front of the school) and i saw some of my classmates there.. sina polin, migy, pat, mykel (hmm.. di ko na tanda ung iba lol). Morning ang schedule nila for the exam.. so yun.. tapos na sila ako hindi pa. they told me na medyo mahirap nga compared sa ibang test yung sa dlsu (which i find true). Konting usap, then nag joke si Migy, *korni* and yun. dumating yung sundo ni Polin and umalis na sila. hehe.. ako naman, pasok sa chowking para kumain kasama ni papa.

madaming tao sa loob. and mapapansin na halos lahat ng tao dun ay kukuha ng test sa dlsu. LOL. the store was filled with "kids" my age. i didn't find any available seats for me and my dad so i went upstairs and thankfully, may classmate ako dun.. si charmaine.. she was with her mum.. hehe nakishare na lang muna ako ng seat.. Ayun.. usap tungkol sa test.. may essay.. etc.. mahirap etc.. after siguro mga 10 minutes my dad arrived with our food.. my classmate and her mum bid us goodbye.. kain naman kami ni papa.. Sweet and sour pork ang sakin ( as usual).. Then nagtext si Aaron, tinatanong kung san kami magkikita, sabi ko dito na rin lang sya kumain pero sa Mcdo sila eh.. LOL.. bla bla bla.. so i told him na sa gate na lang kami magkita..

Chapter 2

It was almost 1.45 when my dad and i decided to go to the entrance gate.. ayun.. from chowking, tumawid lang kami and nandun na kami.. lol.. darn.. iba ang feeling.. ibang-iba dito sa Lipa.. Daming tao.. Mga sasakyan.. maingay.. "masikip" ang pakiramdam.. pero ayos lang.. ayos lang..

Wala pa si Aaron so umuna na kong pumasok. Nagkita kami ni Aaron dun sa loob.. Ayun.. daming tao.. iba atmosphere.. hehe! may puno dun.. pero iba ang feeling ehh.. pagtingin mo dun sa puno, may building kang makikita... basta ung ganun.. titingin ka sa taas, hindi langit makikita mo kundi building.. ang sikip ng pakiramdam.. hindi lang siguro ako sanay sa ganon..




Chapter 3

Almost 2PM na kaya pumasok na kami sa loob. Sa La Salle Building kami.. nung papasok na kami, kumuha lang kami ng kumuha ng pictures ni Aaron.. so habang naglalakad, para kaming ewan ni Aaron. loll



tumigil pa kami ni aaron sa pag-akyat ng hagdan para kumuha ng pic.. lol

ang mga susunod ng litrato ay kinunan habang papunta na kami ni Aaron sa room namin.. basta... lakad at kuha lang ng pic lol..





ganda... dito na ko napangiti.. nung makita ko yan.. hehe.. wala na kong kasama dito sa part na to.. naghiwalay na kami ni Aaron..

Chapter 4

Room L318

nakarating na ko sa room ko.. pinapila kami sa labas nun.. and ako yung panghuli sa line.. ako kasi ang pang 40. lol.. may nakita akong kabatch ko dun.. pareho kami ng room pero sa mukha ko lang sya kilala..




Chapter 5

Sa loob ng L318



pang seat 40 ako.. first column 5th row.. katabi ko yung isang pinto (yung nasa picture).. ayos naman.. maingay yung aircon.. may tv and projector sa bawat room.. wala namang pinagkaiba.. parang sa La Salle Lipa rin..

i got the chance to take those pictures kasi hindi naman kaagad nag simula ang test.. i was not aware of the time kung kelang kami nagstart.. hehe.. basta........

Chapter .....

tinatamad na ko.. LOL.. basta.. ayos naman.. ayos ung experience... iintayin ko na lang ang result ng exams..

so that was my dlsu test.. i dunno how to end this..

"mag-aaral" na ko para bukas.. last day na ng 2nd quarterly exam namin.. CL and English.. hehe ..

END.

salamat.

i try to memorize the feeling.

green day

darn.. simula kagabi puro green na ang nakikita ko.. lol..

natapos din kami ng mga groupmates ko sa computer para sa project namin for this quarter.. website development.. required kaming gawan ng website ang Guidance Office.. after all the "struggles" and funny moments,

here's the final product:

De La Salle Lipa Guidance Office

darn..

maraming salamat din kay Ronel sa pagsagot sa mga katanungan ko.. hehe!

eto kami:




rev. LOL. naglalaro ng space pin ball ba yun?.. hay rev... "lie down, right next to rev" lolxx




james. rakista.. galing maggitara.. nagsawa na sa When September Ends, ang theme song ng group namin.. lol




ako sa harap ng pc..

walang picture si K-ann dahil sya ang kumuha samin habang ginagawa namin ang kanya kanyang gawain.. hehe! basta.. masaya ako sa mga groupmates ko... salamat...

zzz.

i'll never let go

picture from Hale's site (check it out. Click the image)
edited in MS Paint

Who's viewed me?

i can be so stupid at times..

i never thought i will survive this hell of a week.. i am so stressed out.. physically, mentally and emotionally..

i need to do this and that but i can't finish the task on time or more often than not, i find myself wasting my time doing other things. i am the queen of procastination.

i wish i was someone like you...


but i am just me.

i am starting to hate myself....

*saying things i never really meant
*doing things i never really want to do
*hurting other people
*hurting myself...


gusto kong manood ng gig to 'escape' from these shits kahit panandalian lang..

music's one of the few things that kept me sane.. ang panonood ng gig is escape from reality.. i seem to forget the worries in my mind when i attend gigs.. yung feeling na "i just don't give a damn.".. kaya siguro it's one of the things that cannot be separated frome me.. i am just thankful that my parents are letting me watch some concerts.. specially my dad who's always accompanying me in watching concerts and i am glad that i have friends that i can be with..

escape.. runaway... i always run away......................

what a loser...

runaway loser...

i have to use my logic.. i have so many things to do.. i have no time to lament over things and let my emotions take the best of me..


i am missing the better part of my life everytime i make simple things complicated..


this is one of those times when you just think of the things you've done... and reflect on them..there are things that i really meant to do.. asshole na kung asshole.. it's better be an asshole than a hypocrite.. pero, i dunno..

there is this situation kasi in our CL class.. and i hate what i've said.. napaka-idealistic ko kasing tao.. if ever may classmate akong nagbabasa nito, remember when i said "i dont attach myself to material things..".. that's an understatement.. it should be "i am trying so freakin' hard not to attach myself to material things.." and ung tungkol sa "2nd chance".. after kung sabihin yun.. naisip ko lang na meron akong kaibigan na hindi ko binigyan ng pagkakataon... hindi ko alam.. naguguluhan ako........hanggang ngayon.. gusto ko na lang tumakbo.. takasan ang mga pangyayari.... mahirap kasing masaktan.... napakahina ko.... loser...

nagiging idealistic nanaman ako... im trying to take back all the wrong things that i have done.. pero hindi ganyan ang buhay camille...

what's been done cannot be undone..
what's been said cannot be unsaid..

so as much as possible, dapat hindi ka magkakamali.....

yan ang sabi sakin ni mama...

the moment i finish typing this sh*t, everything will be back to normal.. i just dont want to let this moment pass when i want to spill the things running in my head... and in my heart.. this is the only time that i can escape from tons of school work and let my mind rest from all the formulas, assignemnts, projects...

i need rest.. everyone of us do..


what's the worst thing that i can do?
what's the worst thing that i can say?


i want to share something.. i didn't make this one but Migy Leaan Rimes did.. not exactly her... pero it's her song... the girls who's gifted with words.. here it goes..

soon as the mountains turn to rivers

soon as the sea turns into sand

soon as the sun comes up at midnight

that's how soon when all the hurt will end

but 'till then

i'll just pretend that i'll be over.. over..

i keep telling myself i'll forget you someday..

soon..

he wrote this during our CL class.. when we got nothing better to do because we are just too stubborn to listen to the discussion... he wrote it on my notebook..






tears stream down your face
when you lose something you cannot replace